Breanna's Story
November 21, 1992 - February 25, 2008 Age: 15

Always my sister, Also my friend

Tuesday, 26 February 2008 07:11 by beckershawn

 

When we were little Breanna bought me a sand dollar that had written on it these words, " Always my sister, Also my friend".   Yes we were sisters, but we were so much more than that. We were close friends too. We hung out a lot and enjoyed playing games, doing hair and nails, and swimming. She would come over and I would give her manicures. She was very much a tom boy, but she still let me do her nails. She had very dry hands since she was such a tom boy, so I would put lotion on her and those gloves that hold it on her hands over night. Then paint her nails. One memory that still cracks me up is when she was much younger, like from the ages of 4-7 I would curl her hair and it looked beautiful. Then she would look in the mirror and say it was "Too Poofy" and she would comb it out!!!! I would tell her it looked so pretty and wasn't poofy at all, but she disagreed.  This happend every time I did her hair and curled it. So when she was bed ridden this past couple of months I would comb her hair (it started getting longer quickly) and I would tease her that I was going to make it poofy. She could barely speak, but told me if I made it poofy, she would comb it out herself! I just laughed and assured her I would not make it poofy.

Sunday 2-24-08 I was going to take my daughter to play at the park, on the way she told me she had to go to the bathroom. Since she is potty training I couldn't tell her to hold it or anything. So I took her to my mom's house to use the bathroom. When we were there the wind really picked up and we were unable to go to the park. Madison and I just got that extra time with Breanna.  Madison grabbed a baby comb we use to comb Breanna's newly growing hair. She brushed her hair and told her how much she loves her "tia" (that means aunt in spanish) it is what Breanna taught Madison to call her. Madison told her stories and just talked to Breanna for a long time while brushing her hair. As I am sure you already know, Breanna was unresponsive, but I know she heard Madison talk to her. I believe that it was Jesus that made us go to my mom's house that day instead of the park. I happened to take some pictures of it and will post those below.

 I am comforted to know that she is in heaven with Jesus. He came and picked her up last night and took her home. She instantly was able to see. Was pain free, and cancer free!!!  I know she is happy and healthy and finally got to see Jesus, our baby brother, our grammy that just passed away, and all the babies that have been lost these past years in our family. When she passed away, her face was peacful. She appeared to have a smile, which to me was also comforting to see.

Breanna will ALWAYS be my Sister and she will ALSO ALWAYS be my friend. I love her SO much! And I miss her deeply. But, I will see her again in Heaven!

I will always love you my baby sister, Breanna.

Tonja

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Breanna I will miss you

Tuesday, 26 February 2008 07:09 by beckershawn

Last night I was sitting, and thinking of all the fun that I've had with Breanna. The times she would come over to our house and play playstation until the very early morning hours. We would play games, hang out, or she and her sister Tonja would do hair and make up together. She also did an amazing thing, she got me to stop chewing tobacco.  She did this because she was at school and they were talking about smoking and chewing. They had hand outs of what chewing does to you and they had pictures of the effects it caused to your face, tongue, gums, and mouth. She got these hand outs and came home and called me right away and told me that I had to come over because she had something to give me. I told her that I would come right over. She handed me the pamplets and told me that I had to stop right away because if I didn't I would end up like the pictures in the hand outs. It scared me to realize that I was slowly doing something that could take my life. I made the decision to stop chewing because of Breanna, I went to the dr and got checked out and also had the dentist check me out. All was ok, because I quit soon enough, again it was Thanks to Breanna. Now, it has been almost 3 years that I have been tobacco free! THANK YOU BREANNA!!!

The other night Kevin (Breanna's Brother) came over for supper and we decided to play playstation for the first time since Breanna had last played with us. We chose her favorite game, "Crash Bandicoot". It was very hard to play that since we haven't since she was last over. She loved that game so much, it was Breanna's favorite game to play when she would come over. She was very good at it, so good that myself and Tonja got her the game to play on her very own playstation, when we gave it to her she played it all night and the next day she had to call me and tell me how far she got.

I will always have very fond and wonderful memorys of Breanna. She will never be forgotten.

I Love You Breanna and I Will Miss You

 Your Brother-in-Law

Shawn

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You're HUGE witnesses!!

Tuesday, 26 February 2008 07:07 by beckershawn

 Reply to Yesterday Mornings Update from Peace with Christ Youth Pastor

Dear Tami,

After reading the note below, I just HAVE to say something.  Personally, I can’t see how you can even consider the thought that you haven’t been a witness!  Of course, Breanna has always been a terrific and bold witness.  And I must add that you, Jeff, and the whole family has been a witness to all of us from day one!  The closeness of your family is a witness, sharing Breanna’s story has been a witness, you have never stopped sharing scripture, songs, words of encouragement, prayer thoughts, stories of hope, and personal struggles and victories.  If ever there has been a witness for our Lord, it has been the journey all of you have walked.  If ever Christ was glorified in the life and struggle of a family, it has been through yours.  If ever God was proclaimed, you have done it.

Whether a person has been brought to faith through this ordeal, only God truly knows.  But I can tell you that your witness has strengthened at least one man’s faith . . . mine!  From a short conversation with Jeff at Casa Bonita to joyous conversations with you, Tami, at the hospital and on the phone, from e-mails to Breanna’s website, from hugs to warm conversations you have all been HUGE witnesses for God and proclamations of His miracles.  Your unity as a family, your open sharing of God’s work and word . . . all have been a witness!  The Spirit worked mightily in and through Breanna . . . and I am a firm believer that Breanna learned much of that from her mother, her father, her siblings, and her church!

So, as you reflect upon – and perhaps relive – this difficult journey in the weeks and months to come, please know that God has been glorified!  He has been glorified through Breanna’s life and witness . . . and He is being glorified though yours, too!

May our God of Peace gift you with comfort, peace, and the assurance of His presence today and always!

Your Friend,

            Tim

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Email to Tami & Jeff

Sunday, 10 February 2008 07:08 by beckershawn

Hi Tami & Jeff:
 
Virginia and I have been praying for you and there are several families here in Pasco praying for Breanna and her trip into the presence of our Lord. There is little left on this planet for her... the Lord has something much better. 
 
He said, "Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God;  believe also in me. In my Father's house are many dwelling places. I go to prepare a place for you, and if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto myself, that where I am there you may be also."
 
Breanna has loved you dearly and leaving has been difficult, but the time has come for her to go into the arms of her Creator... now to have a new body free from pain, tears and death.  Soon she will be with Jesus and this new life will last forever.  Can we ask for anything more for her.
 
We love you in the Lord and pray for your comfort and for people near you to beco! me an e xtension of the hands of Jesus in your lives.

Jim Sinclair

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Breanna's Song

Saturday, 9 February 2008 07:09 by beckershawn

Below is a song that Breanna wrote. Please enjoy.

TRUST There's a time in everyone's life
When they just don't know what to do but God, He has a plan for you
He knows your biggest needs Your fears and your dreams
He'll never hang you out to dry Just catches all the tears you cry
There's not a lot to say Just trust Him all the way
He will get you through this No matter which way.

~Breanna ~written 2/9/06

Please note that this song was written two years ago today.

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Breanna's Father Jeff

Saturday, 9 February 2008 07:08 by beckershawn
This morning I had a very very hard time arousing Breanna from her sleep so she could take her pills. It took about 90 minutes to get her awake enough to swallow the pills. We had some short conversations which she responded with ok, ya, Taco Bell and "what ever",... she is so funny.

Then at  1:30 I gave her some Lorazapam to keep her calm which is her normal dose. Her grandma ,grandpa and God Father came by to visit, she had little response but was still able to mouth the words.

Around 2:30 the hospice nurse called to say that she was on her way. She arrived at about 3:30 and did a quick assessment on Breanna ,which included...resperations 3-5 per min,...pulse was steady and consistent at 52 ,which is a little low and her blood pressure was unatainable....my guess is because she has had only three or four glasses of fluids total since four days ago. Breanna has had two bites of apple sauce and maybe five bites of yogurt and a small amount of tapioca pudding since Wednesday. After speaking with the nurse on the "what if's", we started calling friends and family for a quick update. The guess is four to six days.
It is now time for Breanna's night meds and she is responding much like this morning. Now we are crushing her pills, dissolving in water and giving orally with a small syringe. At this time Breanna has not expressed any pain and seems to be content in her situation.

Breanna and I always do this thing when we hold hands. Three squeezes (I luv u) three squeezes back (luv u too) two squeezes (how much) and the  response is a hard squeeze back, to show how much you love them. Breanna and I are so much alike, and this situation carries such a heavy heart.
 Life is crazy and I no longer wonder why this happened but instead embrace the opportunity that has been given. We love Breanna very much and thank the Lord that we have had this time with her, all though so short! Thank you all for standing in battle with us, we ask the Lord to bless you all in return.
We will have soon reached a time in the deliverance from this filthy world, into the mighty presence of God.
The thought of Breanna walking without assistance, speaking without difficulty, sight without concern, hearing without impairment and laughter without pain, is the most rewarding promises that has ever be given. I am overwhelmed with joy of knowing that the prayers of complete healing in Breanna will soon be awarded and that she will  soon be made whole. If only it was as easy to do as it is to say.  I stand by her with a selfish heart, sad and broken.
People say that the body becomes callused and the pain subsides but it seems to me that the weakness of the flesh is what causes  pain and fear. As a Christian, weakness is not of spirit but of the flesh.

We love you all, thank you. God bless

Jeff Martinez
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Breanna

Saturday, 9 February 2008 07:04 by beckershawn

Breanna my Sister-in-Law

As I sit here updating Breanna's website I think of the time(s) that I've had with Breanna and the times that I won't have with her. Breanna would come over to our house (Shawn & Tonja) and we would play playstaion or we would play monopoly  all night. She would aways want to be the banker and her and Tonja would gang up on me to beat me. They would take loans from the bank and loans from each other to stay in the game longer. Now I will never get  to play games with her again, and I will miss that very much.

She was there when our daugther Madison was born, Today is Madison's birthday she is now 3 and Breanna was only able to babysit her once before she was diagnosed with brain and spinal cancer. Now she will never get to Babysit her or our son again. It makes me very sad that she will not  be able to watch them play any sports, teach Madison to do her hair, nails, makeup, crafts or have sleepovers. She was the first one to hold our son Matthew when he was born six months ago, and now she will not get to see his first birthday.

I so wish this never would have happened and I would never wish this pain to anyone else.

Breanna I Love You

Your Brother-in-Law

Shawn 

More to come!!

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Tami & Jeff's pastor's wife

Monday, 4 February 2008 07:10 by beckershawn

Hi Tami,
 
What a heart wrenching email.  I cannot imagine your pain and the brokenness of your heart.  I wish there was something I could do or say to lessen your pain.  I believe God has already given you sterength and a degree of comfort or you would not be able to continue to stand on the truth and promises of His Word.  The only one who can speak words of comfort is the One who has already spoken to you through His Word. Isaiah 41:10 has been one of my favorites verses whenever I feel like I cannot endure, I am reminded His promise is sure.
 
I keep prayiing for the Spirit to fill Breanna with His peace and calm so that she would not be so afraid.  But I believe her fear is truly natural.  I think we don't so much fear going to be with Jesus in his heaven, we believe what the Word says about our eternal existence and how awesome it will be.  I believe the fear is related to the unknown that lies between here ! and the re, the dying process, what they call at Children's "the death watch."  It is leaving the familiar for the unfamiliar, a path we haven't walked before and no one we love in this life can walk it with us, only our precious Jesus.  It is often a frightening time for adults so I can only imagine what it must be like for Breanna and for you and Jeff to witness.
 
I wasn't able to reach you by phone so I'll stop the next time I am in town.  In the meantime, we will continue to pray every tiime  the Spirit raises you up in my mind and heart.
 
Love to you all, Jolene

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Resurrection Fellowship youth pastor, for Breanna and family

Monday, 4 February 2008 07:08 by beckershawn
Tami and Jeff,
 
On wednesday night I spoke to the students, a message titled "Hope When Life Hurts Most." In that message i talked some about your wonderful daughter Breanna. About 3 weeks ago I spoke with you Jeff, and you told me much of your and Breanna's story. I also had all of the e-mails you have been sending us over the last few years. I told the students of Breanna, and your (both of you) amazing faith through this journey. I have to tell you i have talked to these kids countless times but Breannas story has seemed to impact these kids more then anything i have ever said. Below is one of the many e-mails i have been recieving. know that God is using you to impact lives, and thank you and your family for teaching us all how to live!
 
ps.... her spelling is a little bit confusing, but i think you will understand
Matt Rosenbohm
Youth Pastor, Resurrection Fellowship

Email from Youth

i hope u read this message before u got the last one.. but i am selfish. even tho i have my downs a lot i never even think about how worse other ppl have it. ur serman tonight change me. i loved it. i wish i new about more ppl as amazing as little Breanna. she inspires me to smile and look at the good. what a strong little girl. here i am complaining about nothing and there she is batling for her life and is happier then me. wow. well i feel like an idiot now that i heard that serman and had just wrote u how i feel. i wish i wud have heard her story along time ago. it wu hve helped me look on the brighter sides of things. god has such an amazibng plan for her. and he is working thru her in such an amazing way. tur! ning ba d into amazing. i wud like to attend her funeral if it is possible. i wud like to b part of the celebration. i cant even tell u how much she has changed me from just hearing a couple of sentences uve read. i am praying for her. please keep me updated on her health.
i could only wish to be as inspiring and beautiful on the inside as her.

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Comforting words from Pastor Diane Blanco

Monday, 4 February 2008 07:06 by beckershawn

First email to Tami

Tami,
This is Pastor Diane Blanco from Resurrection Fellowship. I am the prayer pastor at the church. Pam Gonzalez gave me your email address. I have been receiving all of the emails that Pam has sent out about Brianna. I have fallen in love with your precious daughter and your family. I have cried out to God many times concerning Brianna and you and Jeff and your family. Your emails to Pam have been more than inspirational to me. There is no way that I can say I understand what you are going through because I can't. I have never in my lifetime experienced anything so heart wrenching as your story. Brianna is such a wonderful blessing from the Lord. Her life will go on long after she goes on to be with the Lord. Her words and courage will ring out through many many years to come. I love you Tami, even though I have never met you...In some ways I feel like I know you. Please know that I am praying everyday for you and your family.......love....Diane

Response from Tami

Diane,
 
Your e-mail is very comforting, thank you.  Diane, it looks as though the Lord is calling Breanna home.  If He is choosing to take her home, why must she suffer so much?  She is aware of everything, and will mumble, "scared, scared."  Breanna, has been an amazing witness for the Lord.  Why have so many trials come upon our family?  There are so many questions, spiritual warfare is very strong during a time like this.  I know the Lord is "in the furnace" with us, but satan still attacks.  I know we are not being punished, even though it feels as though we are.  I can't imagine ever feeling normal again, or life without Breanna.  It does help to know people are praying.

Last email to Tami

Tami, I have so been waiting to hear from you. I know that the enemy is cruel. I have been a spiritual warrior for many years. Right before I received your email I was crying out to God for answers even in my own life with situations that are going on. All I know about God is that He is good and faithful and knows all.....even though it seems as if there are no answers from our all-knowing God. Tami, you have been an inspiration to me with all of your emails. I can't even begin to say I understand everything you have gone through. I don't. All I know is that the Lord has used you in my life in many ways over these many months of agonizing that you have been through. I love you and your family and I have never met you. I love your precious Brianna so much. God has used you and her over these many months to encourage me. I am praying for you...........I hope to meet you face to face one day..............Diane  

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